Comments on: Gather Up Your Self Esteem & Get the Hell Out http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:54:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Suzy http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1089 Suzy Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:12:34 +0000 http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1089 Kay, Thanks for responding. Sometimes I have it together & like everyone else, there are times I still make mistakes with men & I'm hard on myself. The difference now is that I rebound quicker & dust myself off & start over again. Usually, I learn from the experience & how not to make the same mistakes in the future. Sometimes, I still get that "school girl" type of crush when I meet a man, but when you go out with someone a few more times, you start to see the real person & if they may be worth seeing again. To me, having good self-esteem is also about making good choices & not settling for less than you deserve, not perfection, but someone who treats you with respect & shows a real interest in you & shares some of your values & interests. That takes time to learn. I enjoy reading your other articles on this site too. Suzy Kay,

Thanks for responding. Sometimes I have it together & like everyone else, there are times I still make mistakes with men & I'm hard on myself. The difference now is that I rebound quicker & dust myself off & start over again. Usually, I learn from the experience & how not to make the same mistakes in the future. Sometimes, I still get that "school girl" type of crush when I meet a man, but when you go out with someone a few more times, you start to see the real person & if they may be worth seeing again.

To me, having good self-esteem is also about making good choices & not settling for less than you deserve, not perfection, but someone who treats you with respect & shows a real interest in you & shares some of your values & interests. That takes time to learn.

I enjoy reading your other articles on this site too.

Suzy

]]> By: Kay http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1064 Kay Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:44:27 +0000 http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1064 @Suzy - thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad you're no longer settling for "crumbs." I think we've all done that at one time or another. It sounds like you've got your life together. It took me some time after my divorce to get it together, too. Best of luck to you! Kay @Suzy - thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad you're no longer settling for "crumbs." I think we've all done that at one time or another. It sounds like you've got your life together. It took me some time after my divorce to get it together, too. Best of luck to you!

Kay

]]> By: Suzy http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1060 Suzy Mon, 03 Nov 2008 01:25:43 +0000 http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1060 Great topic! My ex left me for another woman after 17 years of marriage in 2002. While I always struggled with my self-esteem, I was even more devasted by this loss, his betrayl & rejection of me. I was now middle-aged, overweight & didn't look like the woman I was years ago. I did wait to start dating for 1.5 year, but I was still emotionally fragile & I went out with men who treated me poorly, just for any attention from the opposite sex. Women often do make excuses for these men...he's just busy, working a lot or has to spend time with his kids. In our gut we know the truth. We're the "back burner" woman when he has nothing else to do. I still struggle with my weight & self-esteem at times, but I no longer settle for "crumbs" from any man. Although I haven't met anyone special, I have dated a better quality of men & some have remained friends. I get out with my gal pals & have fun. Also, I look at men as potential friends instead of the possible man in my life. That takes the pressure off early for both parties & if it turns into more, we get the chance to get to know each other as friends first. Life isn't perfect for me, but it's better. To take a line from the song by George Benson & remade by Whitney Houston..."learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!" Great topic!

My ex left me for another woman after 17 years of marriage in 2002. While I always struggled with my self-esteem, I was even more devasted by this loss, his betrayl & rejection of me. I was now middle-aged, overweight & didn't look like the woman I was years ago. I did wait to start dating for 1.5 year, but I was still emotionally fragile & I went out with men who treated me poorly, just for any attention from the opposite sex. Women often do make excuses for these men…he's just busy, working a lot or has to spend time with his kids. In our gut we know the truth. We're the "back burner" woman when he has nothing else to do.

I still struggle with my weight & self-esteem at times, but I no longer settle for "crumbs" from any man. Although I haven't met anyone special, I have dated a better quality of men & some have remained friends. I get out with my gal pals & have fun. Also, I look at men as potential friends instead of the possible man in my life. That takes the pressure off early for both parties & if it turns into more, we get the chance to get to know each other as friends first. Life isn't perfect for me, but it's better.

To take a line from the song by George Benson & remade by Whitney Houston…"learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!"

]]> By: Kay http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1018 Kay Mon, 06 Oct 2008 23:10:43 +0000 http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1018 @Valencia Ray - thanks for your comment! You make very good points, and we're really glad you enjoyed the article (and the kitty). @Valencia Ray - thanks for your comment! You make very good points, and we're really glad you enjoyed the article (and the kitty).

]]> By: Valencia Ray MD http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1015 Valencia Ray MD Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:44:01 +0000 http://www.successfulonlinedating.com/2008/10/04/gather-up-your-self-esteem/#comment-1015 I enjoyed this post, and I LOVE the image you posted of the kitty seeing the lion reflected back in the mirror. The lion for me of course, represents courage. I have a passion for this topic, as I have had to use my 'inner lion' (smile) to develop my self-esteem over the years, and boy has it been worth the effort! Speaking of mirrors and reflections, I believe that our relationships are mirrors of what we are UNCONSCIOUSLY believing about ourselves. The clearer I became about my own value and worthiness, the better the quality of relationships I began to experience. In fact, I now use relationships as a tool to uncover limiting beliefs I may have that I am unaware of. Thanks for blogging on this topic. Our world is in need of making peace with our own 'self'. I enjoyed this post, and I LOVE the image you posted of the kitty seeing the lion reflected back in the mirror. The lion for me of course, represents courage. I have a passion for this topic, as I have had to use my 'inner lion' (smile) to develop my self-esteem over the years, and boy has it been worth the effort! Speaking of mirrors and reflections, I believe that our relationships are mirrors of what we are UNCONSCIOUSLY believing about ourselves. The clearer I became about my own value and worthiness, the better the quality of relationships I began to experience. In fact, I now use relationships as a tool to uncover limiting beliefs I may have that I am unaware of. Thanks for blogging on this topic. Our world is in need of making peace with our own 'self'.

]]>