Successful Online Dating

You've been on two or three dates, and now the guy has great expectations of a night in bed with you, and he's making it obvious.

Does this mean he's interested in you and wants a relationship?

Women need to understand the clear answer to this is NO.

All it means is that he has has been somewhat patient and finds you attractive enough to have sex with you. Which isn't saying much, since my male friends all admit men are "dogs."

Men are very good at knowing how to seduce you, since they've been observing you carefully and thinking about how to do so since they first met you. If they're over 21 they've most likely had plenty of practice and have shared and learned new techniques with their buddies.

The Double Standard Exists

It's not fair, but the double standard still exists.

Sex is a sport to most men on the dating scene, and you're the end goal. Men separate "sport sex" and "intimate sex" in their minds, and once you've entered the "sports" category it's pretty much impossible to change it.

If you let it happen (sorry, ladies, but it's all up to you) you can expect to never hear from him again, or maybe get a few booty calls before he moves on. This is one reason why we see so many Google searches on "why didn't he call back."

Once you get it firmly in your mind that this is the way it really works, and you're looking for a long term relationship with a man, ask yourself this: why would you let it happen?

Why let yourself be used for someone else's gratification when you know they'll soon move on to the next available female body? Why take a chance on the emotional pain you'll experience, and the possible after affects (aka STDs)?

Decide On What You Want

Do you want to continue on with a series of casual encounters - or do you want a real relationship with a man who is interested in you as a person and not as just another female goal?

A man who wants a true relationship with you will not push for sex. He doesn't want to ruin a good thing, and as a result self-gratification is not uppermost in his mind.

He must already be out of the "sex for the conquering hero" phase and into a time in his life where he wants an intimate relationship. This is not an age-related stage - it's a state of mind. If he's not at that point you're not going to change him, no matter how wonderful you are and how well the two of you hit it off.

How to Tell a Man Wants a Relationship

Pay attention to how he acts, not so much what he says. The saying "Actions speak louder than words" is absolutely true.

1. He calls you regularly and when he says he will
2. He treats you with respect and acts like he thinks you're special
3. He doesn't push you for sex, in fact he holds back

Give yourself time to get to know him. If one of you decides you're not right for each other, you'll be disappointed, but you will have saved yourself from that gut-wrenching misery and regret that the end of a sexual relationship brings.

If the relationship works out, when you do become intimate, it will be making love, not "having sex," and it will enrich your relationship, not be the entire focus of it.

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