This is a reposting of our Chemistry.com article. We have had several recent comments and thought it was a good idea to bring some issues to your attention.
Mandi and I appreciate comments and emails from readers. We sincerely try to provide help and guidance in the online dating arena, and when someone spends the time to write a well-written email like this that has a strong opinion of a site, we feel it’s in your best interests to print it.
Before you ever agree to meet a man from a dating site, you need to check for glaring red flags based his profile, emails and phone calls.
Watch for the big fat LIES.
Lots of people tell little white lies; they round up on their height, the job sounds a little better than it actually is, and I always assume the income is somewhat less than they claim (if it’s not, that’s a bonus). Some people shave 5 years off their ages – even that doesn’t bother me much – I did that for awhile, until I decided I wanted to be perfectly honest and not start a potentially important relationship with a lie.
It’s natural to be nervous, or even scared, the first time you join a dating site. You’re unsure of yourself, the rules, and what to expect. Some people will be encouraging, and some will warn you that you’re crazy to do it and will probably end up dead.
With 4 years of experience under my belt, I can tell you that online dating can be a lot of fun. These days it’s considered respectable, and with the proper precautions, it’s very safe.
Be prepared to meet some interesting and fun men. I have several male friends that I met online; we didn’t hit it off romantically, but we did as platonic friends.
Sometimes men seem so hard to read! In many ways they’re all 8 year olds, yet they’ve learned over the years to hide their emotions well. Women excel at reading emotions, but when they’re not visible, we can become confused about what is really going on with a guy.
This can be especially hard when you’ve just met a man for the first time in person, after a series of emails and phone calls.
These 5 signs tell you he’s interested (or not):
First, I have to say I haven’t used eHarmony for over a year, and there may have been some changes made. For one, I know they let you skip over some of the questions now and meet sooner.
One of the most noticeable things about eHarmony, especially for women in their 40’s and 50’s, is that men get hundreds of matches, while most women only get a few. The criteria I set out seemed to be pretty much ignored. The guys I was matched with weren’t at all attractive to me, physically or in their profiles and answers.