I had a date the other night with a guy I met on OkCupid.com. According to his online profile, we have a ton of things in common. It was hard to tell about his physical appearance from the photos, but the conversation was good online, so we progressed to text messages, and soon had plans for a Saturday night.
The hardest first step in any online dating venture is writing your profile. How do you, in limited words, define who you are? How do you enumerate all of your wonderful values without sounding cocky or unrealistic? How honest about your flaws should you be?
I consider a profile to be a “dating resume.” Now, that doesn’t mean I list the dates of all my past relationships and explain any gaps between boyfriends! That would just be crazy. Instead, I try to outline the reasons I’m an amazing catch – but with a focus on the type of guy I want to meet. Just like I have various forms of my resume for different jobs (some focus on my technical skills, some focus on my managerial background) I know that what I put out there will attract (hopefully) people with similar interests, values and backgrounds to what I have.
We all “know” this yet it seems to be so difficult to balance the idea of a fragile male ego with the macho image guys want to portray. The truth of it is, guys are people too (well, most of them) and they have the same fears and insecurities women do. We just show these in different ways.
Here are five things men worry about, and how you can help:
So when is it ok to say enough? We’ve spent some time here on SuccessfulOnlineDating.com talking about red flags. Clearly, if you see a red flag, it’s not only acceptable, but wise to say “Thanks, but you’re just not the one for me.”
What if there are no red flags? What if the “relationship” you are developing just isn’t right for you? This is tough, if you read Kay’s lovely article about her (CONGRATULATIONS) marriage, you know that the best relationships don’t always start with a bang.
Often with online dating, someone is interested in someone, but the feeling is just not mutual? So, what should we do when this occurs? Do you let them know? Do you ignore or block them? Do you immediately delete your profile?
I have, in the past, sent a few rejection letters. Once, I had a gentleman I work with send me a message. Other times I have had someone message me multiple times. Both times I tried to be polite and let them down in a gentle, nice way.