Bullshit Detection

Earning Your Trust

Trust is a binding force in relationships. One of the rules of bullshit detection is careful assignment of your trust. This can save you a broken heart and a lot of pain.

NEVER AGREE TO MORE THAN YOUR TRUST ALLOWS!

Always Allow Time for Trust to be Earned

Remember the adage “Believe what you see, not what you hear.” This is absolutely true. When a man (or woman) you’ve started dating is making declarations and promises, no matter how simple, wait to see if they follow through. Does he promise to call you the next day? If he doesn’t call until 2 days later, he’s not worth your trust. It’s as simple as that. Think about your actions in the same situation – if you promise to call someone at a certain time or on a certain day, don’t you make every effort to do so? Why should you make excuses for someone you’re dating?

How Confident Are You in Their Word?

It doesn’t matter how confident they are: the question is how confident are you in them?

It’s not insulting to refuse to take a person’s word if they have not lived up to their word before, even (or especially) in the small things. Why should you? Let that person build a trust account with you before you take personal chances with that person, like giving even a small piece of your heart. This is not cynicism, this is both self-protection and sensibility.

Help from Family and Friends

So many of us take offense if friends and family criticize a new lover. What you need to keep in mind is that they are looking out for your happiness, and they’re not wearing those rose-colored glasses you’re now sporting so gaily.

Trust can be delegated. I don’t need to trust you, if you’ve earned the trust of people I trust.

Anyone proficient in BS has had plenty of practice. Friends and family help each other detect bullshit in others. They have earned your trust, so give it to them. If one person has a trust issue with your new person, take a look at it. If many people who know and love you have issues, you need to sit down, hear them out, and try your best to look at their point of view objectively.

The happiness of the rest of your life may depend upon it.

Written by dazzled

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One Response to “Bullshit Detection”

  1. Chelle says:

    Some great points you have here – the phone call example of saying they will but won’t seems small, but it can say volumes on future broken promises.

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