Successful Online Dating

Okay, we had the introductory phone call. I'll refer to this guy as CL. It lasted over 2 hours. CL was very interesting and entertaining, and in an industry I know nothing about, so I really enjoyed the conversation.

CL was courteous enough to give me his last name (I will of course run him through the state records search and Google him). Assuming he was truthful, I know where he works, where he's lived in the past, and a little about his past relationship history. He made points by not making sexual references, and by referring to things I had written in my profile. I didn't give him any info about what I'm looking for, because I didn't want him to reinvent himself to fit my preferences. He seemed different than my usual; since my usual never works out, this may be a good thing.

I took about a two month hiatus from online dating, but I'm back in the game.

You know the emails the dating sites send with pics of your "perfect match." Usually I cringe when I look at them, but today I saw a guy that really appealed to me. He has a nice smile and there was this look in his eyes… He even lives nearby! Soooo I sent a little flirt his way, and he responded enthusiastically, and I joined American Singles for a month so I could actually email him.

I had never tried Singles.net before, but thought I would give it a shot. I signed up for the free trial, and then had something else to do. I hadn’t completed my profile AT ALL. We are talking blank, not a detail about me, and had not uploaded a photo. With in 10 minutes of joining, I had 9 new messages. Really? Nothing about me on my profile, for all they know I could be an 800 pound, drooling mass murderer.

True.com advertises that they check on and legally prosecute married people who sign up with their service. From their site:

Background screenings for felons and married people

If you're married:
Married individuals who attempt to join TRUE.com are in direct violation of their agreement with TRUE.com. We will shut down the account of any member who's discovered to be married – including those who are separated or have divorces pending. We report married people to the Internet Crime Complaint Center — the IC3 — which is a partnership between the FBI and the National White Collar Crime Center. We turn married people in for wire fraud under Title 18, Section 1343 of the U.S. Code.

As you are searching for the perfect online dating site, please do not fall prey to a very common scam.

"Substandard' online dating sites will do whatever they can to get your membership.

1. You've done your homework. You've reviewed all of the sites that caught your attention.

2. You decided to accept their free trial offer.

3. You put up an attractive photo, and a well thought out profile.

Within 15 minutes you hear the familiar or unfamiliar chime of new mail. It is from a doctor and his profile fits your ideal mate to a "T"! They are new to your area, looking for an available person to spend time with. They think you are a dream come true!…(sigh…)

First, I have to say I haven't used eHarmony for over a year, and there may have been some changes made. For one, I know they let you skip over some of the questions now and meet sooner.

One of the most noticeable things about eHarmony, especially for women in their 40's and 50's, is that men get hundreds of matches, while most women only get a few. The criteria I set out seemed to be pretty much ignored. The guys I was matched with weren't at all attractive to me, physically or in their profiles and answers.