Successful Online Dating

Continuing our serious on mistakes women make with men and how you can avoid them - from Christian Carter, author of Catch Him and Keep Him.

Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.

Lots of women don't even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

I needed to focus on work and family for a while, and just did not have the energy to actively seek out new relationships; after this self imposed dating hiatus, I am ready to get back out there.

You would think that a gal who writes for a blog called Successful Online Dating would be a whiz at getting a profile up, and that the emails and contacts would be flooding in.

Writing a Profile is Hard

However, while I am updating and reevaluating, I am finding that it’s very hard to objectively look at my own profile. While I know what I should and shouldn’t be doing…I can’t always tell if I’ve done it.

Okay, I admit I've been in a pretty snarky mood since I discovered my "soul mate" was not all that after all.

Back at looking at dating profiles, I'm seeing the same stuff that SO turns me off!

Granted, this is all from a woman's point of view, but Mandi and I would love it if one of you guys did a corresponding guest article about women's dating profiles.

Let's get started:

1. I'm handsome… Damn, I sure couldn't tell from your pics, thanks for letting me know!

One of the most challenging aspects of online dating is the dreaded photo.

If you add a photo, everyone is judging you based on what they see, and they may never read your profile to find out what a wonderful, dynamic and fun person you are.

If you don’t post a pic, then the assumption is you are overweight, deformed or just plain unattractive. The statistics prove this. When Boston.com’s Personals staff reviewed their site they found that a profile with one image receives 5 times as many replies, posting 3 photos netted 7 times as many, and 5 photos brings the numbers up to 9 times the replies as profiles with no photo.

We all know a picture is worth a thousand words. And it’s also worth a lot when it comes to an online dating profile. I won’t even answer a guy who has no photo online.

If you are at all like me, it can be agonizing trying to decide which photo accurately sums up all of the wonderful things you have to offer and is flattering. Do you want to look cute, flirty, fun, outdoorsy?

For both men and women there are a few basic things to remember when choosing your profile image. While some of these may seem obvious, spend a few minutes on any dating site, and you will see how common the don’ts really are.