Successful Online Dating

It's so easy, when you've just come out of a long relationship or marriage, to jump right into a new relationship as fast as possible. In fact, if you're feeling really needy, you will probably quite actively look for a "new love" to fill the void in your life.

There are a number of people on online dating sites in that emotionally rocky position, which is dangerous for them and for you, too, as a potential, unintended victim of their needs.

I  found an absolutely huge list of red flags for both men and women - would you believe 156 of them! You can read them all at Heartless Bitches International.

Some of them are kind of funny (and sad if you don't see them as red flags). Others I haven't thought of or encountered. Almost every one of them is an article in itself. Interesting ones include:

• You have to keep proving yourself worthy of his attention or love. You get attention withdrawn if you ask for responsible behavior or in any way indicate that you were not happy with something he did.

So, for fun, I decided to go through some profiles and see what common problems or weird things I could find. Now, I had intended to go through 100 guys dating site profiles, but I only made it to 50 and my list was getting long.

First, the search: I used my personal account and my actual search criteria (single, straight men in my geographic area, between the ages of 28-36), and I went directly through the results, skipping no one, and reading every profile. See how much I love you, our readers…

It's really easy to not only turn a blind eye to red flags when we're dating someone, but then also not mention them to our friends, who would be objective and point out some home truths to us.

How many times has Mandi said to me, "You didn't tell me THAT!"

That Little Voice in Our Heads

Even so, we usually have this niggling little voice in our heads that pops up at odd moments to point out those troublesome signs we don't want to acknowledge. Eventually, we reach a point in a relationship where we know things aren't right, we're getting upset and worried, but think we don't know why. In reality, our subconscious knows perfectly well and is screaming to be listened to.

I discovered a really good article on able2know that's well worth the read: Serial Cheaters - Narcissists. Here is some of what I gleaned from the article, but I recommend reading the entire article - as one commenter said, "Knowledge is Power."

• Narcissists are self-absorbed and tend to be highly charming.
• They have a constant need for admiration.
• They view all events in terms of how the events impact them and them alone.
• They are master manipulators and feel an “emotional high” with each new conquest.
• Their behavior is often impulsive which can appear exciting.

Nope. Nu uh. No way.

If its a red flag, guess what, it's a Red. Flag. and you'd better pay attention to it, or you'll pay for it later.

My advice for the day.