It’s so easy, when you’ve just come out of a long relationship or marriage, to jump right into a new relationship as fast as possible. In fact, if you’re feeling really needy, you will probably quite actively look for a “new love” to fill the void in your life.
There are a number of people on online dating sites in that emotionally rocky position, which is dangerous for them and for you, too, as a potential, unintended victim of their needs.
Tonja Weimer, who publishes an online newsletter called Savvy Dating, wrote about a man who is paying for his rash decision to marry a woman three months after the divorce from his first wife.
Now he’s thinking he should look for someone else to make him happy, since his current wife is “too bossy and ciritical” and therefore needs to be removed from his life. I’m sure that she is not a happy woman and is not living the life she had hoped for, either.
From the Frying Pan to the Fire
No one wants to jump from one miserable relationship to another desperately unhappy union. Tonja has some good advice for him, and something we should all take to heart.
Just like many people who divorce, you met and married the first person you dated before you were fully recovered from your breakup. You had no time to discover: who you were, what you wanted in a new partner, and who your new wife really was. It is easy to meet someone, feel some level of chemistry, and think you are in love. Especially when you are needy.
If you’re recovering from a divorce or the end of a long term relationship, give yourself plenty of time to heal. If you’ve just met someone in this situation, give him/her your sympathy and a wide berth for your own self preservation.Written by dazzled