Gather Up Your Self Esteem & Get the Hell Out

When I see the search terms used to find our site, I realize how many women are looking for answers when all they actually need to do is listen to their own gut instincts.

All I can think is way too many women lack self esteem. I have to include myself in that group at times. My level of self esteem fluctuates, as I think it does for most of us.

A huge number of actual searches are variations on the following – tell me these women don’t already know the answer to the question:

  • How to woo a guy not interested in you
  • Mistakes women make with men
  • When a man makes excuses for not calling
  • How to tell a man doesn’t like/love you
  • If a man doesn’t call does it mean he’s not interested
  • Cheater who wants me to be patient

self esteem

Whenever you find yourself asking yourself a question like the ones above, gather up your self esteem, even if you have to fake a certain amount of it at first, and blow off the guy that isn’t interested, doesn’t call, runs away like you’ve “made a mistake,” doesn’t act like he likes or loves you, cheats on you, etc.

Who needs him? You are woman – let’s hear you ROAR girlfriend!

Written by dazzled

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5 Responses to “Gather Up Your Self Esteem & Get the Hell Out”

  1. I enjoyed this post, and I LOVE the image you posted of the kitty seeing the lion reflected back in the mirror. The lion for me of course, represents courage. I have a passion for this topic, as I have had to use my ‘inner lion’ (smile) to develop my self-esteem over the years, and boy has it been worth the effort! Speaking of mirrors and reflections, I believe that our relationships are mirrors of what we are UNCONSCIOUSLY believing about ourselves. The clearer I became about my own value and worthiness, the better the quality of relationships I began to experience. In fact, I now use relationships as a tool to uncover limiting beliefs I may have that I am unaware of. Thanks for blogging on this topic. Our world is in need of making peace with our own ‘self’.

  2. Kay says:

    @Valencia Ray – thanks for your comment! You make very good points, and we’re really glad you enjoyed the article (and the kitty).

  3. Suzy says:

    Great topic!

    My ex left me for another woman after 17 years of marriage in 2002. While I always struggled with my self-esteem, I was even more devasted by this loss, his betrayl & rejection of me. I was now middle-aged, overweight & didn’t look like the woman I was years ago. I did wait to start dating for 1.5 year, but I was still emotionally fragile & I went out with men who treated me poorly, just for any attention from the opposite sex. Women often do make excuses for these men…he’s just busy, working a lot or has to spend time with his kids. In our gut we know the truth. We’re the “back burner” woman when he has nothing else to do.

    I still struggle with my weight & self-esteem at times, but I no longer settle for “crumbs” from any man. Although I haven’t met anyone special, I have dated a better quality of men & some have remained friends. I get out with my gal pals & have fun. Also, I look at men as potential friends instead of the possible man in my life. That takes the pressure off early for both parties & if it turns into more, we get the chance to get to know each other as friends first. Life isn’t perfect for me, but it’s better.

    To take a line from the song by George Benson & remade by Whitney Houston…”learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!”

  4. Kay says:

    @Suzy – thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad you’re no longer settling for “crumbs.” I think we’ve all done that at one time or another. It sounds like you’ve got your life together. It took me some time after my divorce to get it together, too. Best of luck to you!


  5. Suzy says:


    Thanks for responding. Sometimes I have it together & like everyone else, there are times I still make mistakes with men & I’m hard on myself. The difference now is that I rebound quicker & dust myself off & start over again. Usually, I learn from the experience & how not to make the same mistakes in the future. Sometimes, I still get that “school girl” type of crush when I meet a man, but when you go out with someone a few more times, you start to see the real person & if they may be worth seeing again.

    To me, having good self-esteem is also about making good choices & not settling for less than you deserve, not perfection, but someone who treats you with respect & shows a real interest in you & shares some of your values & interests. That takes time to learn.

    I enjoy reading your other articles on this site too.


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