Keep Your Friends Close

After you’ve signed up with an online dating service, and you’ve started corresponding with and meeting guys, remember to keep your girlfriends close.

They are the ones that will help you keep your head on straight and your ass out of trouble. Trust me on this.

Mandi has been my main sounding board for guys. She is quite cynical and sees straight through the bs guys dish out (except, of course, in her own case – which is to be expected). She points out the glaring red flags I refuse to notice and picks up on the subtle stuff too. Her advice on how to handle situations is always spot-on.

I also appreciate her comments on the times I seem happy and compatible with a guy. In addition, she’s great at picking up pieces of me that have fallen off at the end of a first date or full on relationship and gluing me back together.

This is not to say I always share information with her. Often, when I have little niggling doubts, I won’t mention them, for fear she’s going to tell me exactly what I don’t want to hear. This is always a mistake, because those little doubts are there for a reason – they’re trying to rip off the rose-colored glasses and say HELLO … YOU’RE BEING STUPID AGAIN. Instead, I waste days, weeks or months with the wrong guy and end up, once again, disillusioned, with Mandi breaking out another bottle of Elmer’s glue.

My friend Amy is more like me, except she’s into designer glasses (and Coach purses, but that’s another blog). She’s ever hopeful, and too nice and forgiving to the guys in her life. She commiserates with me when I’m moaning about how foolish I am, and vice versa. We agree together that we need to become bitches, and then we have a drink. She balances out Mandi’s flying monkeys with a spoonful of sugar.

How do I help Mandi? When she’s met someone she likes, her cynicism kicks into high gear and she sees issues where there are none. My role is to point out the good things about the guy, help alleviate her fears, mention the flapping red flags she’s managed to ignore, and keep my own supply of Elmer’s stocked up.

If you’ve got a guy you can use as a sounding board, are you in luck! Guys will give you a no-holds-barred view of what’s going on. Just be prepared to hear things you may not like.

You’ve got your own supply of friends that care about you and how you are treated – keep them informed about what is going on in your life, and listen to them. They may know you better than you know yourself, and their advice is golden.

Written by dazzled
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