Male Search for Physical Perfection

One of the most disheartening aspects of online dating is the search for perfection most guys seem to be on.

I know it works both ways, but from my point of view, women are more forgiving than men.

In the 50+ category, I accept that men will have bald spots, bald heads, white hair, bellies, imperfect teeth, and wrinkles. And no, those things don’t make them look more distinguished and handsome.

But it seems that all these less-than-perfect guys are looking for slender, fit women, preferably with big boobs. Models, in other words, that are blind to their imperfections and flaws.

It’s a no win situation too. It doesn’t matter how much or how little I weigh, it seems I’m just not thin enough. At my best weight I had a guy trying to put me on diets and chiding me if I ate something he deemed too fattening. That one didn’t last.

Awhile back I met a man who thought my size was perfect, which was awesome considering I’m not at my thinnest weight. I fell madly in love with him immediately! Unfortunately, distance was too great an obstacle with that relationship, but it did give me a wonderful feeling of acceptance while it lasted.

My most recent Match.com meet asked me why such a pretty woman like me was so heavy. Mind you, I am not super thin like Anjelina Jolie or Laura Flynn Boyle. I’m at a healthy weight and I like how I look. I so wanted to tell him that I prefer men with wider shoulders and some muscle on them, and ask why is he seemed shorter than he indicated in his profile, but unlike him, my inherent tact prevented me from saying so.

I resent the fact that guys like that, who do not look like Mel Gibson or Sean Connery, have the gall to critique my appearance and cause me even a moment of self doubt.

Considering what I have to offer – brains, good looks, a laid-back cheerful personality, affection, tolerance, a sense of humor, willingness to try new things – why does it matter that I am not perfectly fit and trim?

Considering my age, I think I’m doing damn good.

Written by dazzled
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5 Responses to “Male Search for Physical Perfection”

  1. sk-rt.com says:

    Male Search for Physical Perfection…

    Do men have unrealistic expectations when dating?…

  2. Kat says:

    Did Mandi tell you to write this one for me? Ha… She knows that I am HUGELY irritated by the inequality in the world. I’m sure you realize that the attitude you mentioned is not only men in that age range, but probably about 99% of men, and also many women who blindly feed it.
    GRRRRRRRRRRRR… It pisses me off.
    In my opinion, Angelina is a hideous fake wench. I can honestly say that I belive that wholeheartedly and it has nothing to do with jealousy. Fakeness is a turn off.
    Lara Flynn Boyle? Ewwwwwww skeletor.
    Fuck them (NOT literally!!). I know this is easier said than done, but stay strong and ignore them because they are seriously warped in the head and it disgusts me.

  3. Amy says:

    MEN! You’re absolutely right. Maybe these men need a full length mirror to take a good look at themselves and see their imperfection from hair loss, to big guts, to hair growing out their noses and ears EWWW and can’t forget the best, their NON-working “body parts” that they need a little blue pill to get artificially working again!
    You go Girl! They’re not worth your time anyway!

  4. sona says:

    Kay,
    i lovee the blog, this is so sad, yet unfortuniately true.
    and don’t settle, because you ARE doing damn good and don’t forget, you’re hot stuff too!

  5. Joe says:

    It seems in general the situation is reversed, with women being far pickier than men. Men often send out a large number of genuine, letters of interest only to be shot down by women who apparently have the luxury of doing so. Here’s one man’s story http://archive2.newsfeeds.com/soc/MATCH_COM__A_complete_waste_of_money10703101.html , my luck hasn’t been quite that bad yet but it’s been pretty poor. As a man I have received no emails, 4 few winks, most from inappropriately aged people or people outside my area, 1 who later marked me as “no interest”, but I’m only sitting at 25 letters. So I’m still holding out hope.

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