Successful Online Dating

OKCupid! Is Worth Checking Out

For those of you who haven't tried it – OKCupid! is really worth a look. First off, it's a FREE dating site. That's right, FREE. No gimmicks, no spam (I have a specific email I used for them, I would know if they sold my address.)

However, even more than the fact that it's free (did I mention that already?) is that the technology behind the search as a least as good as, if not better than expensive dating sites like E-Harmony, Chemistry.com and Match.com.

The best online article I've ever read about physical attraction and dating is Attraction-Wise, written by Lanie Delplhin, who owns a Massachusetts dating service.

Looking for the Spark

If you're like me, you tend look for physical attraction and a 'spark' the first time you meet someone…which is not the smart thing to do:

It's so easy, when you've just come out of a long relationship or marriage, to jump right into a new relationship as fast as possible. In fact, if you're feeling really needy, you will probably quite actively look for a "new love" to fill the void in your life.

There are a number of people on online dating sites in that emotionally rocky position, which is dangerous for them and for you, too, as a potential, unintended victim of their needs.

When I see the search terms used to find our site, I realize how many women are looking for answers when all they actually need to do is listen to their own gut instincts.

All I can think is way too many women lack self esteem. I have to include myself in that group at times. My level of self esteem fluctuates, as I think it does for most of us.

A huge number of actual searches are variations on the following - tell me these women don't already know the answer to the question:

Mandi and I appreciate comments and emails from readers. We sincerely try to provide help and guidance in the online dating arena, and when someone spends the time to write a well-written email like this that has a strong opinion of a site, we feel it's in your best interests to print it.

We received this email from Stan, and decided to print it in its entirety to warn you of his opinion and experiences with Chemistry.com. I have to admit that I've been having some of the same issues since I joined; in fact, it's been several weeks and I haven't even had email correspondence from anyone on the site.

I  found an absolutely huge list of red flags for both men and women - would you believe 156 of them! You can read them all at Heartless Bitches International.

Some of them are kind of funny (and sad if you don't see them as red flags). Others I haven't thought of or encountered. Almost every one of them is an article in itself. Interesting ones include:

• You have to keep proving yourself worthy of his attention or love. You get attention withdrawn if you ask for responsible behavior or in any way indicate that you were not happy with something he did.