Vanilla Reasons to Walk Away

bored-bored-bored So when is it ok to say enough? We’ve spent some time here on talking about red flags. Clearly, if you see a red flag, it’s not only acceptable, but wise to say “Thanks, but you’re just not the one for me.”

What if there are no red flags? What if the “relationship” you are developing just isn’t right for you? This is tough, if you read Kay’s lovely article about her (CONGRATULATIONS) marriage, you know that the best relationships don’t always start with a bang.

This is extremely hard for me to judge. I personally tend to be far too quick to write someone off for a minor reason. I’m sure there are plenty of wonderful guys I just haven’t given a chance to. So I sit here tonight, and write this, while in the middle of an IM conversation that just is not thrilling me. My goal is to identify a few, well, let’s call them “Pink Flags” – signs that someone may not be a match. However, I’d love YOUR feedback! What is it that makes you say, that’s enough, this isn’t going anywhere?


Ok, I try to give a few grains of salt for nerves, shyness, etc. I know, as boisterous and outgoing as I am, I tend to be much more reserved when getting to know someone. However, if real time conversation (Instant Message, Phone, Text) stalls or doesn’t keep your attention, that’s a sign. In other words, if you leave an IM to go write a blog entry…there may not be enough to keep you going.


Let’s face it, we often put half truths or watered down versions of ourselves on profiles. We don’t want to scare off 90% of the potential dates by being all crazy up front. If in the course of conversation, you realize that there are really different sets of values, you may want to reconsider moving forward.

Common Ground

How many profiles have you read where people like to “hang out with friends,” “watch movies” or any other platitude? Really? Most humans like to do that at least occasionally. When it comes down to how we spend a majority of our leisure time, there needs to be a relatable area. I for one, do not enjoy yard work or gardening, so someone who wants to spend their free time outside may not have enough in common with me. At the same time, a guy who wants to hit up happy hour every night or is bored after 10 minutes at home won’t work either.

No Forward Momentum

Have you emailed back and forth? Is the conversation never progressing? I’m all for a “getting to know you” phase, but it’s got to have potential – otherwise, it’s just a nice pen-pal. As the female, I won’t lie, I like the guy to take initiative…but I drop hints – movies I want to see, restaurants or bars I like. If it’s not progressing, there has to be a point where you can simply walk away with no hard feelings.

These are just a couple of things I’ve decide on my own, but I’d love to hear from others. Keep in mind, these are vanilla reasons to walk away, not the serious, red flag issues that should not be ignored. Everyone has their own tolerance level, and it’s up to you to decide how long you will let a mediocre relationship brew…sometimes, that extra time makes all the difference.

Written by Mandi

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