I have always been able to tell within the first 3 dates whether there was real, long-term potential. Since I am by nature, very sensual and sexual, I can usually sense when a woman is sexually attracted to me. Why would you deny the attraction just to make a guy jump through hoops? Now, I don’t have to be in love to have sex with someone, but I never lie to get sex. I have never in my life cheated on a woman with whom I was in an exclusive relationship. I have never had sex with a woman who I knew was in an exclusive relationship with someone else, even when I was single and playing the field. I have a few questions about this post:

1) Why do you assume that a woman doesn’t want to have sex with a man within the first three dates? Why do you think sex is a “treasure” to be given up to a man to reward him for jumping through some hoops you devise? Why can’t sex be a mutually gratifying experience?

2) What is the rationale for a man “holding back” on his desires for a woman? What is this puritanical fixation with self-denial? Don’t get me wrong. I know lots of guys do lie, flatter, etc. to get sex. Women do need to have their BS detectors on at full power (because a lot of guys do BS their way just to have sex), but just because a guy want to have sex with you after two or three dates doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in a long term relationship.

I think that some of this advice is dead-on, namely:

1) If you’re interested in a LTR, then the guy should do what he says he will do;

2) He should treat you with respect; and

3) Do what’s necessary to prevent STDs: have him wear a condom (duh)!

But getting to know each other sexually is part of getting to know whether you’re compatible. Like the other parts of finding out whether you’re compatible. And it can be fun, if you go at it with the attitude of a process of discovery, instead of “giving up a treasure only your divinely-fated prince deserves”!

Please tell me what is inevitable about the “gut-wrenching misery and regret that the end of a sexual relationship brings”? This is an outdated, indeed, sexist view on sexual relationships. Women can and frequently do enjoy sex! Wake up and stop living in the Puritanical past!